TRUTH#1: YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF
It’s easy to be at peace when things in your life are flowing smoothly.
But what about when things just don’t seem like they’re going your way? Is it still possible to have peace even then?
The answer to that question is a 100% YES!
You can have peace…but only if you accept the truth that you can only control yourself.
You can never control anyone outside of you.
Your boss is having a bad day…
Your partner is in a bad mood…
Your child is throwing a temper tantrum for no apparent reason…
None of those things are in your control.
But you can control how you show up and respond to them.
More often than not, you can’t control outside circumstances.
Things like, war, traffic, weather… all outside of your control!
But you can control how you react to outside circumstances.
When you focus on what you can do during a situation instead of what everyone else is saying and doing, you’ll be able to tap into your inner peace.
The beauty of this is that it doesn’t depend on anyone but you!
TRUTH#2: YOU CAN MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES
This may be hard to hear, but if you’re continually surrounded by chaos and uncertainty, you may need to consider that it’s time to start making different choices in your life.
If we continue to choose what we’ve always chosen, we will always get the same results.
Maybe you’re in a relationship where your partner is unable to commit to you fully.
Maybe you’re living in a small space and it’s full of clutter.
Maybe you’re in a job that leaves you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and you’re on the brink of burnout.
You can’t change your partner or force them to make a decision, but what you can do is make choices that honor and protect your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.
You may not be able to immediately change how big your home is, but you can make different choices that reduce the clutter, which leaves you feeling less overwhelmed and with more peace.
You may not be able to change your job overnight, but you can start working on your resume or building an online business that will allow you to have freedom one day.
The hardest part of all of this is accepting that you can make different choices which often leads to a lot of internal resistance.
This resistance comes up because even if you don’t like the situation that you’re in, it is familiar, and when something is familiar it feels safe.
Your relationship might be painful but it’s a familiar pain, however the pain of leaving your relationship is unfamiliar pain.
Your clutter might be making it difficult for you to live the life you’ve envisioned, but it’s a familiar pain.
Leaving a job that you hate would also involve confronting an unfamiliar pain or the uncertainty that lies ahead.
TRUTH#3: YOU CAN EMBRACE A NEUTRAL MINDSET
Sometimes, we lack inner peace because we immediately adopt a negative mindset.
Often before we even allow a situation to completely unfold, we’ve already made up our minds that it’s going to turn out negatively.
You’ve said, “Of course, my boss won’t give me that raise. He hates me.”
Or you’ve said, “Of course, my partner is going to be grumpy with me today. She’s never happy.”
When you have a negative mindset, you walk into a situation with your guard already up and with energy that matches what you’re expecting.
You’re so busy anticipating a terrible thing that you can’t possibly find peace.
Instead of choosing a negative mindset, you can switch and try for a neutral one.
This isn’t like toxic positive thinking where you’re bypassing anything negative (which is also unrealistic and often unhelpful).
Rather, you’re training yourself to approach situations with a neutral mindset.
So how do we do this?
You might say something like, “Maybe my boss will give me that raise. He did give me a favorable performance review this year.”
Or “Maybe my partner will be in a better mood today. He didn’t get enough sleep yesterday.”
With this perspective shift, you’re staying open to ALL possibilities—both the positive and the negative.
You leave room for things to unfold as they are and you can choose peace because you’re not anticipating the worst or the best.
You’re simply choosing to be open.
YOUR PEACE = YOUR CHOICE
The simple fact is that peace is not only a choice. It’s your choice.
You are the only one who can deprive you of peace.
Your partner can’t.
Your parent can’t.
Your boss can’t.
Your dog can’t.
This means that you have the power.
And the beautiful thing about making choices is that even if you don’t choose it one day, you can wake up and choose differently the next.
You can choose to walk in peace or not. It’s completely up to you!
I want to highlight and acknowledge the fact that terrible things happen in our lives and in this world and that you will in fact not feel at peace at times.
The point of doing this work is to help you identify how to anchor back into peace, when those things happen.
I'd love to hear from you!
Let me know in the comments below which of these truths you struggle with most.
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