Creating Self-Compassion and Calming Your Inner Child

Have you ever thought about why you can’t move forward?

Have you wondered why you sabotage yourself?

Have you ever questioned why you so easily feel anxious, depressed, and self-critical?

Inside each of us there’s an inner child that was once wounded.

To avoid the pain, we’ve tried to ignore that child, but s/he never goes away.

Our inner child lives in our unconscious mind and influences how we make choices, respond to challenges, and live our lives.

When life feels especially chaotic, our inner child wounds are often triggered.

This is because our inner child so desperately wants safety and security and being in a sea of chaos is just the opposite of that!

Here are three things you can begin to say to develop self-compassion toward and calm your inner child.

1) I love you.

As children, a lot of us believed that we needed to accomplish goals—get good grades, make the team, fill our older siblings' footsteps—to be lovable.

We may not have had parents who told us we deserved love, no matte what we achieved.

This may lead us to constantly spinning our wheels, trying to earn love
We can tell ourselves that we are loveable now, regardless of what we achieve or accomplish.

Say it whenever you see yourself in the mirror.

Say it in any random moments.
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Love is the key to healing, so give it to yourself.

2) I hear you.

Oftentimes when life feels chaotic, we push down our feelings and try to act strong.

For a lot of us, this stems from childhood.

But those feelings don’t just go away. They fester inside of us, affecting the choices we make as adults until we make the conscious effort to hear them.

Instead of suppressing the voice of your inner child when you feel overwhelmed say, “I hear you. We’ll work through it. It’s going to be okay."

3) Thank you.

Thank your inner child for never giving up, for getting through the tough moments in life together with you with strength and perseverance.

Thank your inner child for trying to protect you, even if her way was holding on to painful memories.

Your inner child doesn’t deserve your judgment. S/he deserves your gratitude and respect.

These are three simple ways we can start the ongoing process of re-parenting our inner child.

Question to Consider: What is the one thing you most want to say to your inner child today?

Action Step: Find a picture of yourself when you were younger and look at him/her as you say these things.

In your Creating Calm Journal you'll find 14 more journal prompts and fill in the blank questions to begin nurturing your relationship with you inner child.

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